Dude Currency: Hair Fare

The future of currency is now! This Week in Dude introduces Hair Fare!

As we all know, hair is a renewable resource. And as we all should know, chest hair is extremely precious and highly valued in many small villages.

Ask yourself this question. What’s cheaper? Printing money? Or growing hair? It’s a no-brainer. From penny-valued back hair, to 100 dollar bills from freshly harvested mustache, Hair Fare will more than likely replace all paper and coin currency by 2016.

Is the sky falling? No, it’s not. But the shedding of hair is finally being monetarily compensated. The world we live in is ever-changing, and we must adapt with it. Soon each and every dude will have to make the decision… Groom or be groomed.

The push for the conservation of energy leads to this obvious innovation. As they say, necessity is the mother of invention. From this necessity, barbarically hairy men will become infinitely more attractive, as is with the view on anyone who is worth a lot of money.

The practice of retrieving freshly grown and clean hair has been in place for quite some time now. Realizing the value of it though, and outlining a stringent code of ethics, is the new initiative for the future.

The process of extracting hair plays a factor in determining the value of each bill. Waxing leads to by far the crudest grouping of hair, since it reaches the printing press filled with impurities. The best method shown to deliver the most cherished currency is the “Shear and Smear”.

Shearing and smearing is actually a much cleaner and crisp process than one would intuitively think. The shearing step involves a swift-moving diamond coated blade (we’re looking at 1300 mph, and a Rockwell A hardness of 60 kgf, respectively). As the hair descends and flutters off of this extremely sharp blade, it is naturally collected right there on an expanded papyrus webbing which collects the hair effectively and results in a giant sheet of hair fare. The papyrus sheet is cut accordingly, and the currency is sent out to merchants across the world.

From the merchant, the hair fare is distributed to banks and other safe money depositories. Starting the money supply with the merchant will hopefully act to stimulate the economy in ways that only carefully collected and interwoven “man money” can.

What an amazing world we live in. Who would have thought that by 2016, our own body hair would be the driving force behind our economy? Follicle commerce is the future of our country, and it will be up to us Dudes to contribute to the “growth” of it.

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Hen Do Ideas to Celebrate Hen Party

Planning the perfect hen do can be something of a challenge. On one hand, you have to evaluate the tastes and preferences of everybody invited, and on the other hand, you have to consider the entertainment options available. We are here to make your life a little easier. Here is the most popular idea for a hen party.

The Perfect Hen Party

The one and only place to go to for a perfect hen party is a comedy club that offers hen night events. At these events, you will find that there are so many different features that everyone’s tastes and preferences will be taken care of. Secondly, unlike many one-dimensional entertainment options, these events offer you unique all round entertainment. Most importantly, at these events, you and your girlfriends will have such a wild, wacky and wicked night that you are unlikely to ever forget about it.

Hen Party at Comedy Clubs

So, what exactly does this hen party at comedy clubs feature? Well, in one word- everything, but to be prices- ‘Full Monty’ by exotic male strippers, drag queen cabaret, unusual standup comedy that ensure that you are in splits, games and gaffs to keep you amused throughout, delicious dinner and drinks buffet, a large number of exciting gifts and giveaways that you can keep as mementos as well as top DJs who will keep you dancing all night. Can you think of any ingredient missing from a perfect hen do or hen weekend?

Other Option

Believe it or not, you can get the same entertainment by requesting the comedy club to send you a troupe of their artists to your private venue on the day of your hen do. This can easily be arranged by contacting the management of the comedy clubs via Internet. This way, you can have all the same fun, but instead of being in public, you can do it privately, in the attendance of just your private circle. However, no matter which option you choose- comedy club or private venue- make sure you make your bookings as early as you can to avoid disappointment at the last minute.

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The Establishments of Man

Every now and again a man just needs a getaway. This necessity has spawned things such as “the two-car garage that never has a car in it” and “hunting camp”. It has evolved into the Den and the Mancave. But could it go farther? Has it already gone farther and we just haven’t concisely defined it yet? (All homoerotic overtones will try to be avoided, but at times may appear inevitable).

Here is a rough hierarchy starting from the most primitive and least involved to the least primitive and most involved.

The Hunting Blind

Whether it be six feet in height on the ground, or 6 inches in height and on a tree, very few things in life connect man with nature better than the Hunting Blind. Invented by Fred Bear sometime in the 1930s, the hunting blind was one of modern man’s first retreat destinations. The ground mounted hunting blind was simply constructed, yet detailed acoustic consideration was taken into account (i.e. the rectangular slot machined for accommodating a gun barrel).

The predominant color of these blinds was black, with a few avid hunters opting for green (possibly an instinctual gravitation toward deep woods covert-ness). During harsh winter months, the Hunting Blind sometimes doubled as an Ice Shanty (which ranked slightly behind the Hunting Blind in our Establishment Survey results due to a smaller amount of mantime usually spent in it).

Hundreds of years from know, Archaeologists (and surviving hippies) will venture into the woodlands that were once fauna-filled and find these dry-rotted plywood artifacts. Amazingly enough though, with the last name and address of the owner of the blind still in tact, they will find out more about the Cabela’s bargain hunting generation than they ever thought possible.

The Fishing Hole

Ahhhhh… The Fishing Hole. The most likely place to find a man looking to escape his problems during the summer months. A place where you can silence your Mariner outboard motor and let your troubles whisk away… until you snag your line on a hidden underwater sea log. A place where you can wear your fishing lures on your hat and nobody will judge you. A place where a babbling brook is much better than a nagging significant other. Okay… you get the point.

The 50 year old Sports Bar

Keno. Cheap beer. Worn out barstools. Has beens. Never was’s. This place has it all. Probably the last place in your area to comply with anti-smoking legislation. You have your regulars: Dale, Tim, Jeff, Mike who just got laid off, and of course Alfred, who hasn’t had a job in 23 years but somehow can support a pretty steady diet of booze and Marlboro Golds.

This place has been a retreat for men in nearly all relationship situations (divorced, about to be divorced, contemplating divorce, calculating the cost of an attorney, and Alfred). The bartender knows everyone on a firstname basis over the age of 26 and is either drying off glasses or asking “what’ll it be?” The combination of the bartender also being the owner, and the friendly atmosphere amongst life’s losers is kind of like a smalltown version of ‘Cheers,’ minus the fact that midlife crises are actually not that entertaining… at all…

The Man Cave

Kegerator… Check. Dartboard… Check. Scattered collection of un-redeemed beer tabs for a 1996 softball fundraiser… Check. Welcome to “The Man Cave”. Ranging from the size of a two-car garage to a 49 foot high tin pole barn, the Man Cave has recently gained steam and become one of the biggest and best hangouts for men in their early 30s to mid 50s. Decorated with italicized NASCAR numbers and mid-80s pin-up models, the Man Cave has become a glorified ‘Little Rascals’ clubhouse for middle-aged men of the current generation. Baby boomers be damned.

The Mantropolis

All of your superheroes live here. Superman, Spiderman, Aquaman, and the like… What do all of these superheroes have in common? The word MAN. Welcome to Mantropolis. Opinions are necessary but open-mindness is not. After intense litigation to smuggle the rights to this name from what could have been a very successful gay bar, Mantropolis now defines the sprawling area needed to finally create the Man Kingdom. Steve Garvey lives here. There is not one DSW shoe store within 85 miles of Mantropolis. Arguments are resolved via fistfights, and all of the members of Man Parliament have thick beards and wear flannel. The one problem with Mantropolis? The population only grows smaller due to the absence of women.

The Manpire

No, this is not a Man Vampire. That would be a Vampire. This is a Man Empire (think back to ancient Greece and Rome). This however, is a modern Man Empire. The roads are paved with aftershave, and there is such a thing as PBR beer plants. Unfortunately the only anti-perspirant available is Old Spice due to their unbelievable 97 percent market share in Man Scent. But that’s okay, because nothing can overwhelm the scent of motor oil and over-worn brake pads that dominate this Man Land. This is a place where every Sunday morning before football and/or “the race” you can find a man beneath his truck with a crescent wrench. This is a place where 3 ounces of Whopper mustard on your shirt pocket is held in the same regard as a merit badge. The infrastructure is 100 percent steel, the bar is always open, and the game is always on. By Law… Or shall we say, Mandate.

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Tips For Easy Phone Chat

If you are thinking of starting a phone chat service, then the first thing that you have to ask yourself is whether you will be engaging in phone sex. Chances are that if you are considering such a service, that you know that sex sells. Most people who call to chat are doing so to have some sort of sexual encounter on the phone. In order to then become successful in this type of business, you need to have your own line, privacy as well as the engaging type of personality that really likes talking on the phone and does not mind the dirty talk.

It can become really steamy when you are engaged in a phone sex conversation. While some people are mild in their expressions, especially if they have never before called such a phone chat line before, some are very explicit and can be very raunchy. You have to be prepared to hear it all and respond the way that the client expects you to respond in order to be successful at this type of business. The more open minded you are and the more that you enjoy talking on the phone with others, the more you will make at this type of business.

If you like to talk on the phone and do not mind some rough language as well as very sexually explicit talk, then you may have found your niche with this market. You can offer fetish desires with your line or just engage in all types of sexual encounters strictly over the phone. There is nothing physical about what you are doing, everything that you do is over the phone and nothing more. You will talk to all types of people all of whom have something different in mind when it comes to getting their fantasies fulfilled.

When you want to be successful and make extra money, but want to stay at home to do so, then you can do so by offering phone sex. This is something that is totally private. No one has to know what you are doing and you can make money without having to leave your home. Again, this type of sexual encounter is strictly over the phone and very private. No one knows that they are talking to you or your name. They do not know where you live nor do they have any way that they can get in touch with you except by your private line. This keeps you safe and insures your privacy while at the same time allowing you to conduct business in this way.

If you want to earn money at home and have a good time doing so, then this is the way for you. You just have to get started with a chat line that is safe and secure and you are on your way to having fun and making money at the same time. You can even live out your own fantasies when you get started with this type of sexy talk. This can help your own love life as well as give the person on the other end a boost as well.

So What is a Headshot? How Much Does it Cost?

A headshot is a 10 x 8 (inches) or similar sized portrait. It commonly has person’s head & shoulders, and focuses on the face. The headshots that include a person’s shoulders are called ‘three quarter’ shots.

A 10 x 8 headshot is a business card for actors or entertainers and is presented to casting directors who decide whether a person’s look is right for the particular role.

In the UK actors headshots are traditionally black and white, whereas in USA they are often in colour. Therefore it is important to make sure that your photographer knows what market the actor intends to present their headshots to.

The best headshot should show a person as they are (age, look, style, etc.) and reflect their best qualities. It should be natural and reflect person’s current look. Therefore, for example, if an actor/actress has cut and coloured their hair, he/she would then require a new headshot… that includes scars ageing.

It is also important that an actor/actress wears simple neutral coloured (usually black or white) clothing that does not contain prints. The focus and attention should be emphasised on the face and not the t-shirt with imprinted flowers or palm trees or logos!

Headshot should invite the viewer in and make them want to know a person better. It should also provide a glimpse into the person’s character or present their potential for the role a casting director is looking to fill. It is the only thing casting director is judging you by and there is no a second chance.

Commercial – typically (not always) has the person smiling and projects warmth and friendliness.

Theatrical – usually serious, focused and actors are NOT smiling.

How much does the headshot cost?

Actors’ headshots could cost anything between £50 and £250. Going for the cheapest or the most expensive options may not be the best choices sometimes. There could be possibilities of either not getting a good quality or simply overpaying for the services that could be obtained elsewhere.

Many photographers offer different service packages that may include make-up, hair styling, an option of costume changes, variations on hours and number of photographs taken. Some photographers also offer cheaper sessions because they shoot from home and do not have large overheads from hiring studios. It is up to an Actor to decide, which option is the most appropriate for them. Make sure that it is safe and professional.

Therefore, it could be advised:

Firstly a person planning to do their headshot needs to look at photographer’s portfolio (online or a hard copy) to determine if their style of headshots photography is right for them.

Second, enquires if services such as make-up and a costume change are available. Many photographers collaborate with professional make-up artists that could be hired for an extra fee.

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10 Acting Audition Tips

I have some close friends and colleagues in the entertainment industry, which I have dabbled in a little myself, and they have vented to me time and again about what they see during the open casting call process. In an attempt to not go insane from the repetition I hear from my aggravated acquaintances on an almost daily basis, I’ve devised a list in hopes that actors reading it will give them a break. Which consequently, will give me a break. Here we go!

1. Excuses:
Check those at the door. Time to be an adult. The dog ate my homework didn’t work in school, and no variation of that excuse is going to work at a job interview. Roll with the punches, and do what you can. Don’t start blaming anything or anyone. It just looks pathetic, and makes you look incompetent. Pity won’t get you the job.

2. Early Audition:
Now don’t get too discouraged, this is just a rule of thumb, but early auditions tend to get the part, or at least a callback if they were halfway descent. Reason being, the casting staff is tired at the end of the day. Like anyone at work, productivity goes down minutes before quitting time. They’re not really paying attention. They’re thinking of food, home, sleep or some other pleasurable, non-work related activity. Also, you might not impress them as much when compared to the blur of actors they’ve seen all day. Wouldn’t you rather audition in front of well-rested, fresh minds?

3. Headshots and Resume (aka a portfolio):
Even if a manager or agent is sending one over for you, bring extras. You never know whom you will meet, and you don’t want your career dependent on anyone but yourself.

4. Choose:
During an audition, confidence in yourself and your understanding of the character is very important. What shows this are the choices you make. When someone asks you to choose “what you like” or “which song”, do not reply with “doesn’t matter” or “whatever you want”. Huge turnoff and big mistake. You must know your strengths and preferences. This is not a social conversation. You’re being tested!

5. First Impressions:
Not really much to say here. When you meet someone, you envision him or her in the context of your meeting. You do it. They do it. They want a competent, personable employee. Come in looking prepared, confident and presentable. Not unorganized, arrogant and sloppy. If you don’t care, why should they?

6. Contact Information:
Simple but crucial. Use a designated audition email address and have it on your Resume and Headshots, which you should have with you at all times! Even if you don’t get the part, they might dig your file up at a later date. You might not have your agent or they lose that information and presto, they have your contact information handy and ready to go.

7. Memorizing Lines:
1. Learn them! If you don’t, can’t, whatever, DO NOT pretend to know them. You’ll just look stupid. While reading directly from the script isn’t ideal, it is not the end of the world.

8. 3 C’s:
This is a little redundant, but that’s because it’s important. Comfortable—Charismatic—Confident. You’re going to be an actor. You must have a stage presence. Focus must be on you, and the audience must want to focus on you. After all, you’re the reason why anyone is watching.

9. The Show Must Go On:
Did you mess up a line? DO NOT start over. This is a sign of professional maturity. Starting over is never an option, and it probably wasn’t as bad as you think. While you’ve just messed up in front of industry professionals, they’ve seen it fifty times that same day and it isn’t that much of a shock. If you wow them with your talent, a simple mistake won’t sway them too much.

10. Audition:
This might seem obvious, but a lot of people will only go on auditions that they really want. Go on auditions that aren’t so important to you. That is a perfect way to perfect your auditioning skills without blowing the real deal. You can also record yourself and use sites like Talent Trove to get feedback on your performance. Practice makes perfect, and you need to get those jitters out. Hone your skills, and get yourself familiar with the setting of an audition and you’ll soon walk into it like an industry veteran.

3 Tips on How to Sing Better

Want to be the next Carrie Underwood or David Cook? In this age of technological advances, almost nothing is impossible. If you have secret dreams of being the next American Idol, there are tips on how to sing that can help you reach your star.

These tips are readily available online. You only have to type the right words on the search engine and choose from the sites that match your search.

Here are a few tips to help you sing better

Know your voice capabilities

Picking the right songs can help you sing better. You need to under your vocal capabilities and the tone of your voice. Some people are suited for deep, melancholia type of songs as they have a low voice.

Some people will sing better when the tempo is faster. There are also ways to fake your voice so that you can give a loud, screaming performance without straining your voice or a mellow performance without sounding weak.

Practice

Even the most singers in the world with the most beautiful voices needs to practice as well. Today, with modern technology and the karaoke, anyone can learn to sing and be as good as their idol.

Open Your Vocal Chords.

Before singing a song, there are some practice vocal chords you can try to basically “warm up” your vocals. This allows you to hit the higher and lower notes easily without sounding like a wrecked train.

There are also many singing software and courses that can help you sing better. These are suitable for people who have not much time and can practice their singing anytime they want.